Civilized Behavior

"SPIRIT", 1993, m/m, 14x14x4"
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I love teenagers.
Yesterday, Â I had backed my car up to the house and left the hatchback open most of the day as I waited until I had enough energy to bring stuff into the house.
I waited all day into the evening. Â Â And still… the hatchback was open out there.
AND THEN… a little knock on the door and I find my two neighbor kids; Â probably 13 and 15. Â I’ve lived here for three years now and there has always been an awkwardness between their family and me. Â We are culturally different and there is the ever-present adobe wall between us to contend with. Â They are a real family; Â two boys running, shooting hoops, yelling at each other; Â I LOVE this! Â Since I chose not to have kids and give my art career my attention, I tend to live vicariously through others. Â I’ve never done well with infants but teenagers, I seem to want them around me more and more.
It has surprised me so much that my neighbors and I like each other from afar but we stay just that: Â once removed. Â I watch myself yearning for a connection there but don’t act on it. Â That is why it was such a surprise when I saw the two boys at my door asking if I had anything in the car I needed help bringing into the house. Â Â The seemingly small attentiveness they showed in noticing that my car door had been open so long and breaching those silly made-up barriers that keep our hearts in lock-down, Â actually brought me to tears. Â Â Of course, being no dummy, I know full well their parents were behind the kindness here but I got to make them my heros and they were feeling good when they left. Â And so was I.
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