Rock
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"BLACK ROCK", 2002, 40" x 60", m/m
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I remember hiking down an old riverbed around Eastertime one year by myself. Â It was a perfect day with clear, Â modest heat and an impossibly blue sky.
As I walked,  the old riverbed opened into fabulous  ’dishes’  of sandstone;  large spanses of really smooth,  slightly concave places where the water used to just slide over without making a fuss.
This place was hypnotic.  Held all around by 30′ canyon walls with a few delicate willow trees  pushing up through the rock in places.  It was silent,  felt safe and I never wanted to leave.  I took all my clothes off and laid down in the middle of this old riverbed on my stomach.  I don’t really cry much but that day I turned my cheek to the rock and sobbed my guts out.  I asked the stone to take everything in me that felt like  ’too much to hold.’  At that time I was unhappy in a marriage and confused and lost.  Somehow,  the power in this rock place I had stumbled on helped me remember my essential self apart from any schism I felt at home or anywhere else.
The rock actually did take and hold all the overwhelm and emotional and physical upheaval I was carrying that was just too much for one human to be expected to manage by herself. Â So that rock let me know in a big way that I didn’t have to.
On that day I started to understand that rocks, Â in their deeply contracted density, Â have the ability to hold… they can hold for us and they also hold archives of knowledge we have no clue about.
When I had left all my tears there in the riverbed, Â dressed and started back, Â I saw a little wall of rock stuck back aways in a canyon hollow. When I went to look I found an old, Â old dwelling. Â Someone else had known the power of that place.
I think we get called to go where we need to go if we listen. Â To this day, Â if I feel less-than-strong in any way, Â I remember the warmth of that rock on my wet cheek and stomach and it helps me move on.
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