Begin Again

"HIDDEN", monoprint, 30" x 22", 2000
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Sometimes something happens that just sort of levels me.
Whether it is a physical challenge, Â an emotional one or it could be the daily challenge of negotiating the world and all it’s psychic overload of fear and chaos that I, Â as a sensitive person, Â pick up.
As an artist, Â my most cherished tool of the trade is that very sensitivity. Â It allows me to find most everything I need in the present moment.
The past holds little interest nor does the future.
In my art this is a rare and cherished quality because I use the present moment to inform the work so the piece has little chance to have any kind of  ’I've seen that before’  feel because I really just sort of open to what’s available in THAT moment.
This works GREAT in my art.
Not so great when one is trying to live as a fully capable and functioning member of the human race.
I’ve always been challenged by the segue from the circular way of being which makes it possible to register life in a multi-layered and textured way, Â and the linear way which helps bill collectors stay away and keeps the water on.
I envy those few I’ve met who seem to negotiate both ways tolerably well.
Anyway, Â in my case with MS, Â my hand is being forced and I must scratch my way toward unfamiliar territory.
This whole life feels somewhat like a graduate course in something… Â wonder what?
All I know to do is get up when I fall and begin again… and do it again tomorrow.
It always helps me when I am in places scented by despair to give something… Â a smile, Â extra money to the paper guy, Â long walk for my dog, prayer for our president, Â a soft heart and forgiveness to myself.
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