At Rest
"SILENT ONE", 30" x 30", 1999, ceramic
I find it challenging to be still.
My mind gets in there and makes me think there are other things more pressing than rest.
Rest = sloth in our culture.
My body wants to lie down.
Too many years of hyper-vigilance when I was more interested in figuring out what another was feeling and catering to their needs.
I’m a novice, really, at knowing what my own needs are.
I thrive in silence.
Very seldom do I listen to music.
In this process of healing I am in, the symphony I listen to is my blood.. My breath. My muscles. My nervous system. My digestive system.
These are the main events going on and I see that I must fall in love with THIS music..
I must lie down and feel mySELF (with a capitol S).
The culture is roaring at my door with the incessant chant: “YOU MUST DO! DO LOTS OF THINGS AND DO THEM PERFECTLY AND DON’T STOP DOING, EVER!!!!”
Today, I will listen to my own personal symphony and lie down for more than 15 minutes without guilt.
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