Fish
untitled, textile hanging, 1990, 5' x 5', pigment on wool flannel
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When I was quite young, I often stayed with my grandmother.
Near her house there was a lake and the banks were perfectly brambled and muddy.
I found a secret place there and went with my fishing pole of stick and twine.
I sat there for hours, hidden, watching the bright orange giant carp in the pond lazily weaving through the murk.
Never did catch one on my hook.
But one day, I caught one between my two hands!
THRILLING!
But I was on the other side of the lake from my grandmother’s so I started running with this giant orange creature between my hands outstretched in front of me.
Probably took a good 15-20 minutes of running till I made it to the spigot in the bathtub and filled it up and put the fish in.
My grandmother came home and was horrified. We had a little ’sit-down’ right there on the edge of the bathtub.
Her point was that the fish was probably missing it’s brothers and sisters and I might want to think about reuniting them.
I couldn’t believe she wasn’t flipping out in excitement over my feat!
I took the fish back to it’s home (in a pail) and am still thinking about that fish today.
It was a very American thing I did.
I saw. I want. I take.
Totally self-centric.
Yes, I know this is a stretch, this metaphor as I was sssssooooo young and didn’t know better but still, I kinda think it works…
During the holidays I feel a similar kind of energy which takes me so far out of the peaceful and almost ecstatic ‘wriggle-watching’ I experienced with the fish as I just plain witnessed the life happening.
That energy VS…
I LIKE THAT.. I’m gonna BUY that.. My friend will LOVE this!.. This is the PERFECT outfit! I’ll look GREAT… I WANT THAT!!!!!!!! Hurry, We’ll be late… Come ONNNNNNNNN…
Last night, when I drove home from a party the new crescent moon was up.
It made so much perfect sense to me to see her there…adding to herself a little bit, night by night.
She was wise to put herself out of our arm’s reach…
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