To Settle the Soul

“LIGHT”.5×4′,m/m

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The first crocus pushed through as harbinger of better days.

It is more of a challenge to enjoy long threads of “better days” in Winter.

I asked a friend to be my meditation “accountability buddy” at the beginning of February.

Structure helps me keep my word to myself;

“Monday- yes, Tuesday, yes”…. we traded this way via email for two weeks.

Suddenly, some thing got me and I recoiled from confessing to my friend that “no” had entered the arena.

The silent backstory in my troubled mind was bordering on cruel;

I’ll bet you know it well.

I’m not entirely sure that when the crocus begins to wake up and have the urge to move all the dirt balls and worms out of it’s way to reach the nourishment of light

That it does so without a number of rests, pausing to do whatever ( laundry, dinner with friends, get a facial?), and maybe even some time in stasis

Where the direction toward Life is unclear.

Can I love myself a little?

Be gentle in my requirements for success?

Maybe just begin again as I am ready

And leave the jaggedy tailings of mind fracking

By the side of the road?

Easy does it, Cath.

Enjoy the ride.

It’d be a shame

To turn any more precious moments over to The Judge.

He is so fucking fat.

THERE ARE CROCUSES COMING.

comments

4 Responses to “To Settle the Soul”

  1. Becky patterson on February 16th, 2018

    I love your glowing image such interesting textures. Whether it’s the size of the postage stamp or 5′ sq. it’s powerful curious and simpley strong. Yes. Do my days add up or just add on. Yes the delicate bloom that pushes so hard to become. Love you babes. Bec

  2. Paul Drescher on February 17th, 2018

    Had to laugh– The Judge IS so fucking fat! You would think there would not be enough room in the old noggin, what with all the menus, passwords, fears, traumatic childhood memories and self-hypnosis strategies crammed into that tiny space… but Nooooo… The Judge has to wag his fat ass around up there, too, trying to wreck everything! Well, screw him! I’m going back to my Haagen-Dazs now. Yum.

    You got crocuses coming up… nice!

  3. Ellen Fox on February 17th, 2018

    Every time I see one of your images I am knocked flat. Where are all those paitinings?

  4. Cathy on February 19th, 2018

    Thanks Ellen! All my past work, save a few pieces I kept, are living in collectors homes..

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