Knees

“ONE BLUE SQUARE”, 5′ x 5′, 1991, m/m

.

This is one of my favorite works of art by Bruce Nauman.

The medium is beeswax and the impressions are of “five famous artists”.

I respond to it because it makes me think of the physical action of prayer; from the coolness of standing tall, our physique erect

We are drawn to break at the knees which instantly introduces vulnerability.

Surrendering to gravity the elevation of our brain comes down closer to the earth.

Physical height is halved and we perch awkwardly on our knees and toes.

This is not a power position in the sense of combat.

I am part of the 1% and therefore fortunate beyond measure

But there have been times where I have needed to ask my tribal extended family for help.

This kind of “asking” is very different than leaning into a partner or family or a bank for help.

This “ask” (I’m speaking of my recent crowd-funding project for Emma)

Is the type of need that heats up your knees;

Praying there with a shattered, fat ego broken in pointy shards spread around chaotically.

Actually, I feel sorry for those who have yet to experience this particular kind of deep dive

Because the loss of altitude changes one.

The vertigo kneads heart muscle on the way down.

The support I received allowing Emma to live longer from so many, known and not

Leaves me with faith;

In myself knowing how far I will go for love.

My heart is now embroidered with threads to you; I am not alone

So I must release this unintentional default mode (which feels so sticky sometimes).

Thank you for extending Emma and me your stellar and comforting company along our shared road.

I feel you there in the gift of witnessing me here.

We are good together.

comments

5 Responses to “Knees”

  1. Barbara McDaniel on May 1st, 2018

    Exquisite darling.

  2. Karren Sahler on May 1st, 2018

    I am honored to be a reader and a fan and a lover of small helpless things. Lovely, exquisite, poetic words. Thank you, dear one.

  3. Becky Patterson on May 2nd, 2018

    Once again an exquisite work of art in thought, words, feeling, from Cathy the artist, the poet, the humbled. YOU are an inspiration to all of us and you’ll never be alone. “Ask and you shall receive”

  4. Jann Tenenbaum on May 2nd, 2018

    I love you Cathy. And I love Emma, sometime I wonder who I love more, Emma or Cathy. (excuse grammar please).
    Emma is such a love. So happy that she will be taken care of and that you will have each other for a long time.

  5. gerry harty on May 4th, 2018

    You are my teacher Cathy in so many ways! I want to thank you for always sending me down the right path with your amazing observations while living with illness.Love you and Emma..xoxo

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