I Bit the Hook

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I went down the rabbit hole in conversation with a person close to me with differing political views.

I knew this was unproductive from the start and staved it off a bit

But entered the fray anyway.

It feels embarrassing to witness my unchecked little self.

The tsunami of desperately needing someone to understand my truth

And value it

Was a force

I did not understand as ego.

Such wasted energy in the end.

I do not have the skill of detachment in this political clime.

Putting my precious life-force toward pieces of the pie where I can actually make a difference is my direction for today.

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“….we grab at pleasure and try to avoid pain, but despite our efforts, we’re always alternating between the two. Under the illusion that experiencing constant security and well-being is the ideal state, we do all sorts of things to try to achieve it: eat, drink, drug, work too hard, spend hours online or watching TV. But somehow we never quite achieve the state of unwavering satisfaction we’re seeking. At times we feel good: physically nothing hurts, and mentally all’s well. Then it changes, and we’re hit with physical pain or mental anguish. I imagine it would even be possible to chart how pleasure and pain alternate in our lives, hour by hour, day after day, year in and year out, first one and then the other predominating.

But it’s not impermanence per se, or even knowing we’re going to die, that is the cause of our suffering, the Buddha taught. Rather, it’s our resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation. Our discomfort arises from all of our effort to put ground under our feet, to realize our dream of constant okayness. When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness. Another word for this is freedom—freedom from struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human.”

-from LIVING BEAUTIFULLY WITH UNCERTAINTY, by Pema Chodron

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comments

2 Responses to “I Bit the Hook”

  1. Barbara McDaniel on October 16th, 2018

    Groundlessness and uncertainty….yikes. Oh yes, that. Again and again and again.

  2. Becky Patterson on October 19th, 2018

    Yikes. Someone finally said it so right. I
    Love Pema. We are constantly
    Uncomfortable. Never feel
    Good enough. I’m talking about me. Thank you for always voicing so eloquently what we all feel. I’ve gotta read that again. One month of dreary foggy rain. Feeling sullen. Will try to accept that and not resist it.

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