Putting the Pieces Together

"GRID",  2001,  5' x 5',  canvas, oil, modeling paste

"GRID", 2001, 5' x 5', canvas, oil, modeling paste

 

Dealing with a chronic illness is exhausting.

Not just the drop-dead fatigue that goes with MS but the deliberation of what tack to follow healing-wise.

Do I take the few medications available with their side effects and spotty results or do I follow alternative approaches?

The fact is that there are plenty more questions spiraling around this huge surge of autoimmune-challenged people than there are answers.

All I know after 9 years of dealing with MS is that when I choose a particular form of support;  whether it be diet, energy work, Western medicine,  alternative approaches,  prayer or nothing at all,  EVERY cell in my body has to be behind my choice.  There can be no question there.   Period.

I have been drawn to a number of approaches to the challenge my body is faced with.   I regret nothing.  Not a thing.

I have chosen to spend the next week at the MAYO CLINIC and get tested from top to bottom in hopes of returning home with a clear baseline to work with.   The whole experience so far feels clear and kind and thorough and adept.  I haven’t left home yet so we’ll see what kind of an adventure this turns out to be.

I am grateful for this opportunity.   Not eager, I can tell you but curious,  willing and committed.

The journey really starts when I press the  ‘publish’  button here and walk out the door.   It will be the first time I have travelled without someone along to help with wheelchair,  luggage,  security,  finding bathrooms and then finding another one!  The frailty part of MS is really apparent away from home.   Nowhere to hide so I just put a slight attitude on,  dress elegantly,  spray on a little Chanel #5 and move into the theater of it all.   Pretty entertaining,  I can tell you.  Entertaining and poignant.  People are kind in heartbreakingly beautiful ways.  I see that I remind people that  ‘but for the grace of God, there go I.’  I am happy to play that part but this trip is about me.

I’ll keep you posted.

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