At Rest

'SQUID',  16" x 4",  2003, ceramic, steel

'SQUID', 16" x 4", 2003, ceramic, steel

 

A friend drove me down to the airport last week as I began my MAYO Clinic journey.

I realized that in her company I feel at rest.

My breathing was soft,  I had no worries,  no unfinished business in our friendship of 20- some years.

I have never felt judged by her though we hold differing opinions on things.

I am sure she holds me in high regard and continues to deal with my personality quirks all the while knowing the highest and best parts of me and holding those up as a mirror when I lose sight of them myself.

There is nothing I need to protect myself from in her.

She is most interested in the space BETWEEN my creative moments and my tears and my judgements and my fear and my successes and failures.  She champions them all as genuine in the moment but quickly loses interest and returns to the space between the ‘stuff’ of life.

This friendship is so EASY.   Not work but ‘river-like’ in its’ simple strength and beauty.

I watch my addiction to effort.  Culturally,  it seems the thing to lust after,  somehow.  Am I BUSY?  What am I DOING?  What did I GET from the DOING?   What am I going to DO now?   What’s NEXT on my agenda.

Yuk.

I’m in love with the pause.

In friendships,  food,  work,  figuring out my ‘body challenges’,  music,  life-planning,  ALL OF IT.

I’m gonna take a breath and be enchanted by the SPACE BETWEEN the inhale and exhale.

There’s something there that I need and I’m going to let it find me.

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