Building, Rebuilding a Life

"RISE",  30" x 30",  2006,  earth, pearls, wire, ceramic, mica

"RISE", 30" x 30", 2006, earth, pearls, wire, ceramic, mica

 

I remember a favorite yoga teacher from years ago.   She was 70 at the time and had alot of gravity to her.

She would walk around us as we did the poses and critique.

Very occasionally she would just stop in her tracks and become silent.  Then she would say:  “God is near.  Can you feel it?”

And sometimes I could.

These days,  as I reshape my life to fit my physical changes I have the opportunity to decide what elements,  beliefs,  habits,  people,  furniture,  food,  prayers,  clothes,  dreams and desires will stay or go.

And how to decide these things in order to create a thriving live for myself?

I go back to that question;  Is God near?

For me,  that means that I get a solid feeling of OPENNESS and LIGHTNESS when I think of a choice between two or more things.

I even do it at the grocery store…  a red apple or a green one?

This is the only way I know to choose well and rightly.   When I do it from my mind,  I can ALWAYS make up a story about why this man is good for me or that medication will heal or this course of action seems right.

I don’t trust my mind.

I am actually bored by it.

It’s a remarkably good tool and I have a good one but it has proven to take me only so far.   And not far enough.

And so,   in humility,  I listen for the whisper or roar of God  (or Spirit)  and stay in the place of not knowing.  And listen.

I’m going to let myself be shown.

Because if I,  in all my ego,  decided to do this road alone I would surely,  surely have a wreck.

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