"THE FIELD",  1985,  5' x 4',  pigment on wool flannel

"THE FIELD", 1985, 5' x 4', pigment on wool flannel



I had this great conversation with a good friend today.

We talked about the inundation we both are feeling of energies pressing in on us that affect us in adverse ways.

Cell phones,  TV,  email,  to-do lists,  presents to buy,  emails and phone calls to make and return,  papers to write and file,  closets to clean, conversations to have, work to do,  relationships to foster and repair and some to leave..

It feels as if there is a constant pull which includes a numbness because it’s so familiar.  There is also static because none of it is generated by NATURE and therefore is not natural to us.   So there is a constant effort on our part to protect ourselves from being overtaken by it all but we’re so used to this underlying unnatural thing that we don’t even register how much it costs us.

When I took my trip recently to the MAYO Clinic,  an interesting thing happened…   The moment my friend dropped me off at the US Airways curbside and I slid into the wheelchair waiting there for me,  a cleaner and clearer energy started to happen in me.

I really didn’t realize this until I returned home but all the while I was away,  I was right inside the NATURAL AND VITAL CATHY and I had almost forgotten her!  I haven’t travelled for a number of years out of fear and fatigue.  As I negotiated the wheelchair rides,  the cabs, the hotel,  the doctors and other patients I watched myself making intuitive choices whether I wanted to connect or not.  Would I engage in conversation for 1 minute,  or 5 or 1/2 hour?   I effortlessly chose in the moment and moved on.

I think the energetic relief and clean slate I felt had alot to do with the fact that kindness was afoot everywhere I went.  Human frailty was the order of the day,  not the ego enhancement of our culture as a whole.

I felt safe.

I recognized myself as a woman with an interest in connection but a desire for the kind of meeting of two souls which feeds me rather than empties any small reserve I might have of late.

Very occasionally I have just a tid-bit of CHI left over to give as a gift to another but these days my emphasis has to be on what allows ME to thrive.

On my return home I am ruminating on the qualities of my trip that fostered this reintroduction to my essential self.  The freedom,  safety, ease and energy for adventure.

I heave a sigh of relief that SHE is still around and got some life in her yet….


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