Stomach Rub

"GIFT",  2005,

 

I picked Olivia up yesterday at the emergency clinic.

They couldn’t help one last dig directed at my decision to care for here here rather than enter the maze of endless tubes, IV’s, biopsies, et al…

“No guilt intended”, they said..

I picked up her medications and there, sitting in the car in my handicapped parking place, Livvy NEEDED to be in my lap and wouldn’t go elsewhere… so we sat. And watched the world for a bit.

There was a man there, outside the drugstore with his dog.

He tied him up and went inside the store.

Three minutes later he came out. Had a conversation with the dog. Left him there again and went inside. There he was again after five minutes this time and same thing.. talking extensively to the dog. Much petting. Then into the store again.

As Livvy and I watched, this scene played out 2 more times.

Well…..I understood perfectly….

Since we have been home, all my dog wants is to have her stomach rubbed. This insatiable desire on her part is brand new and I oblige, of course.

Such an act of trust.. 

Imagine..

Lying down stretched out to the max and waiting, TOTALLY exposed! That underbelly that we, a humans, try so damn hard never to let ANYONE see how soft and tender and excruciatingly UNTOUCHED ours is….

Well, it is all I want to do; loving her in this way.

It is an honored position I am in. This creature has given me a try… watched me, tested me, checked me out over time and found me trustworthy.

As my heart is resting this full in the experience of being permitted to love my dog in her time of need, I do believe she is helping me know something about how it may feel in the human world:

Maybe, just maybe… those offering me their solace and assistance, love and care in MY time of need might be feeling such things..

How would I feel if I knew that what Livvy needed and wanted more than anything was a stomach rub but she just couldn’t quite bring herself to accept it so she wriggled away as I reached to give her what she needed?

Ugggg… Hurts my heart just to think of it..

Wake up, Cath… and free your underbelly….

comments

One Response to “Stomach Rub”

  1. Pamela Markoya on September 11th, 2009

    I have just had some quiet time to sit and read your blog. My heart opens up to your honesty, courage, and frankness concerning life. You are a true warrioress and a great Spirit. My love travels with you on the inroads of humanity and the etheric pathways of the soul. Bless you.

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