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detail, "SEA CUCUMBERS", 2001, naked raku

detail, "SEA CUCUMBERS", 2001, naked raku

All my life I have been intrigued by underwater colonies of barnacles, coral and kelp.

There was always something terrifying about the ‘intelligence en mass’ of a group of beings living so closely together.

But there was also the admiration I carried for them; that they had the ‘whatever’ to thrive both as independent elements and have the group identity as well.

You could see this as my anthropomorphizing this whole scenario..and you could be right..

Or it could be just a woman recognizing her own inherent distrust of other human beings as she watches other species in awe of their capacity to live so closely.

I love being a part of an intimate relationship but I lose my power pretty quick.

Or at least I have done that in the past. Haven’t given myself a chance in recent years. I do believe things might be very different as I am broken open now inside these dealings with my health.

Emphasis on the OPEN.

Most days I would not use the word ‘broken’ to describe me.

But really, If I did have a momentary crumpling into a puddle, wouldn’t it be nice, Cathy, to have a strong hand there to reach for?

Just asking.

You see, these are the interior ruminations that keep me company, sometimes.

They are mildly entertaining but my heart is ready for action.

I can tell because it starts beating faster when I think about barnacles…

I realize fully that this may sound mildly psychotic to some but I do think I get some points in the TRANSPARENCY department, don’t you?

If nothing else, it should make yourself feel very, very good about your own life..

And for that, I am glad.

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