Naive or Innocent?

"WANTON GIRL" detail,  1994, 6"x3"x3", ceramic

"WANTON GIRL" detail, 1994, 6"x3"x3", ceramic

I usually position myself in life as a student..

Knowing I am here to hopefully become a bit more tomorrow than I am today.

There seems to be a very distinct difference between meeting life at the door with wide eyes open to being called toward directions never dreamed,

AND…

The folly of surrendering to that very seductive naive place when the archives we carry inside us have distinct entries marking particular experiences with a big question mark.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS THING BECAUSE I SEEM TO HAVE SEEN IT WRITTEN THAT YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHERE THIS ROAD WILL LEAD?

That’s naive.

Innocence is when you can sit down with a friend you’ve felt betrayed by and leave the history at the door. I am talking about the ADULT kind of innocence; not the infant kind where we have NO history to pull on us either way so we are truly a clean slate.

What I’m interested in is the state of being where we can risk an outcome beyond what we know by clearing the slate enough to allow something as yet unnamed to occur without putting our well being in jeopardy.

I come up against this in my choice of medications, supplements, diet, bodywork and beliefs I negotiate regarding PPMS.

Something new and untried often has the scent of quackery or ‘last-ditch-effort’ to it.

I hope never to lose my openness to innocence.

As long as I keep my archive alive and at the ready (which has alarm bells built in that keep me from harm most of the time), I will continue to open to new ways of thinking and treatment that feel correct for my body and soul.

Of course we can all go directly into the ring along with science and religion as they duke it out over the ‘rightness’ of the particular kind of intelligence each KNOWS is CORRECT.

I am grateful for the stability in my being that allows a modicum of openness to ‘other’.

What we know has taken us only so far.

There are miles to go before we sleep.

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