Showing Up

blanket, pigment on wool flannel,  1980

blanket, pigment on wool flannel, 1980

The sale of art I held over the weekend was great in many ways and a disappointment in others.

I am very ready to let much of my work go but the reality is that few people have any money languishing idly in their pockets.

The world is changing. Not just mine, but EVERYONES.

This still feels exciting to me even in the midst of chaos.

We need to change.

It’s uncomfortable and inconvenient at best.

So, after I spent awhile in disappointment that my expectations for the weekend were not realized, I began to wrest myself away from the fear and opened the ‘reality check’ door.

I finally remembered that the ‘ALL THAT IS’ doesn’t necessarily deliver the goods when and how WE have decided we think they should come to us.

Our job is to KEEP SHOWING UP the best way we know how and ALLOW the effects of our energies to play out as they will.

And they will.

But I hate this part sometimes because I WANT WHAT I WANT.

But it doesn’t go that way.

Sometimes, I am so very glad I don’t get what I want.

And that there is a higher order that filters my puny desires and returns my well spent energy in a form I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED OR WANTED.

What a relief.

My job is to show up.

And allow.

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