Fish

untitled, textile hanging, 1990, 5' x 5', pigment on wool flannel

untitled, textile hanging, 1990, 5' x 5', pigment on wool flannel

_______________

When I was quite young, I often stayed with my grandmother.

Near her house there was a lake and the banks were perfectly brambled and muddy.

I found a secret place there and went with my fishing pole of stick and twine.

I sat there for hours, hidden, watching the bright orange giant carp in the pond lazily weaving through the murk.

Never did catch one on my hook.

But one day, I caught one between my two hands!

THRILLING!

But I was on the other side of the lake from my grandmother’s so I started running with this giant orange creature between my hands outstretched in front of me.

Probably took a good 15-20 minutes of running till I made it to the spigot in the bathtub and filled it up and put the fish in.

My grandmother came home and was horrified. We had a little ‘sit-down’ right there on the edge of the bathtub.

Her point was that the fish was probably missing it’s brothers and sisters and I might want to think about reuniting them.

I couldn’t believe she wasn’t flipping out in excitement over my feat!

I took the fish back to it’s home (in a pail) and am still thinking about that fish today.

It was a very American thing I did.

I saw. I want. I take.

Totally self-centric.

Yes, I know this is a stretch, this metaphor as I was sssssooooo young and didn’t know better but still, I kinda think it works…

During the holidays I feel a similar kind of energy which takes me so far out of the peaceful and almost ecstatic ‘wriggle-watching’ I experienced with the fish as I just plain witnessed the life happening.

That energy VS…

I LIKE THAT.. I’m gonna BUY that.. My friend will LOVE this!.. This is the PERFECT outfit! I’ll look GREAT… I WANT THAT!!!!!!!! Hurry, We’ll be late… Come ONNNNNNNNN…

Last night, when I drove home from a party the new crescent moon was up.

It made so much perfect sense to me to see her there…adding to herself a little bit, night by night.

She was wise to put herself out of our arm’s reach…

comments

Leave a Reply