Deep

“BLUE VIEW”, 1998, 5′ x 30″, m/m

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I have been watching the series “PLANET EARTH”

I keep going back to the disk about the deep ocean.

The part where they get into the submersible and drop into the black.. miles down to the ocean floor where the sun don’t shine.

It is there they find creatures of astonishing capabilities: complex series of neon light patterns, glowing tentacles to lure a meal, adapted forms of life that thrive in volcanic-broiling waters, lizards with no eyes but highly tuned tactile and olfactory skills allowing them to move slowly and gather a trustable sense of terrain on their way to the restaurant.

The deep.. the deep…

Unknown and scary and visibility low.

That’s how my life looks sometimes.

I must develop new skills to navigate.

To move. To love. To heal.

Sometimes, it feels as if the evolutionary Gods are having their way with me; pushing me beyond where I think I can or should have to go.

“Change faster, Cathy. Put a band aid on that skinned knee and here’s a double-ply tissue to wipe those tears. We KNOW you can do it. You see.. you’re on your way to a different kind of beauty. Capabilities unknown as yet. But trust us… surrender to the deep. We got your back..”

And I have to believe that they do.

comments

2 Responses to “Deep”

  1. Caitlin on April 16th, 2010

    Just heard Barbara Ehrenreich on To the Best of Our Knowledge. She was denouncing our culture of postivity esp. in the face of illness (she had breast cancer). Opposite of positivity in her mind is not negativity. Instead it’s realism.

    It’s bouncing around in my head right now. Thinking of you.
    LOVE the Blue View above.
    Bet it’s hanging in someone’s living room right now…

    Best, Caitlin

  2. Laura Hegfield on April 16th, 2010

    : )

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