Truth Be Told

“RISE”, 1996, 60″ x 40″, m/m
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A friend asked me this question last night: “Do you find yourself moving toward being more positive in your blog than you might REALLY be feeling because it is such a public venue?”

Those may not be his exact words but you get the gist.

It is a really important question and I was so very glad he asked me.

I felt that if he had this question, then likely others do too.

Blogging actually helps me STAY HONEST.

I tend to lose some power when in face-to-face conversations as I see fear or anxiety come up in others faces and I change course.

I might think that is to protect them in some way but often it is the result of knowing I am in an unsafe environment which doesn’t REALLY want the truth.

When I get up each morning to write, I do it with a credo: AUTHENTICITY IS THE WAY THROUGH.

If I tell a lie, a sort of interior buzzer goes off and I go back and re-do until I get to what IS true for me IN THAT MOMENT.

And that, there is the key as what’s true changes.

I’m not here saying I write stripped bare with all truths left dangling out for all to see.

I am committed to DROPPING MY ARMOR in life as well as in this blog.

For me, THIS is the way to heal.

To unmask myself as I have the courage to do and thereby create space for a healthier Cathy to emerge.

So.. I give you my word that what you read here is not sugared-up or dampened down for your eyes.

My promise to myself, first and foremost is to SEE WHAT IS HONEST and be pretty sure that if it is there for me, someone else out there is dealing with it as well.

The part of this blogging process that makes it work for me is the WITNESSING that you all do for me.

The kind of healing I am interested in is never a one way thing.

It takes two. And that means you.

And I am forever grateful you have allowed my words into your sphere.

Without you, I am just alphabet soup on the wind.

You help bring me home.

comments

3 Responses to “Truth Be Told”

  1. Donna on April 27th, 2010

    Interesting thoughts Cathy. How often we alter our communications based on continual input, nonverbal and verbal, from others. I know I don’t intend to be, however, I can be quite a cameleon.

    I met with my neurosurgeon yesterday. While not lacking in empathy, the man has the most powerful “poker face” I’ve ever encountered.

    I noted how uncomfortable I’d get inside when I couldn’t adapt my presentation based on non-verbal feedback from him. I’d pause for a raised eyebrow or something. Nothing.

    I had to ultimately own what came out of my mouth.

  2. Pam on April 27th, 2010

    “… alphabet soup on the wind.” Wow, Cathy, I just love that analogy.
    Andy Warhol Campbell soup can explosion comes to mind…
    Am really enjoying your blogs. I have never questioned whether you sugar-coated or not as my experience has been that you have always been straight-forward with your words. It makes me check myself.
    xo

  3. Caitlin on April 30th, 2010

    Honored to be among those reading this with love and respect Cathy. And love seeing your art …
    Caitlin

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