Making a Mark

detail of painted wool flannel, 1990

Cave paintings have always enchanted me.

I am drawn to the idea that people almost have it hard-wired into them to leave a mark of some kind.

I was here.

Just in case there was ever a question.

I have witnessed myself painting my own hand and spreading my fingers wide as I pressed down and held the palm there for a moment as I pressed.

I have left my handprint on more than a few works of art I’ve created.

It just feels good to do it.

As you see here, I added a stigmata.

I remember doing this fairly regularly under the guise of; ‘I like how it looks graphically,’ but of course, the underlying reason was surely that there was a part of me in pain whether I was admitting it or not.

Leaving some sort of mark on the world has always been a desire of mine.

I see now that it may not be through my creation of painting or sculpture as I no longer have the physical capability nor the desire, actually.

So, I wonder.

Not incessantly, but I am curious how my creativity and desire to be the person long ago in that dark cave intent on leaving her mark will surface now in my life.

For all my talk of remaining in the present moment I should take my own advice.

And why? WHY, oh why is it even a subject I lean into?

Who can know these things….

And who wants to?

Best to just let the mystery unfold as it will and watch with interest.

Mark or no mark.. I am here.


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