“TWO”, 30″x 40″, 1991, drawing

I had lunch the other day with a very good friend.

Among other things I admire about him, he sustained a 37 year relationship with a man who took up alot of space in the world.

I would say he was not easy or even domesticated into the cultural comfort zone.

But he took your breath away with his fierce living and giant heart.

As I sat with my friend, he said that three things served as anchors for the success of his long love:


When he said the words all I actually heard was some kind of other-worldly sound that made me prick up my ears and know that something had just happened I needed to take notice of.

When I looked up ‘dignity’ in the dictionary, it listed: ‘gravitas and self-respect’ in the list of definitions.

When I translate these three words into my relationship with my physical health and healing, I grow softer in a very good way.

When I have it in me to wriggle my way into the state of mind where I am aware of my full aliveness inside a disabled body, I feel DIGNIFIED.

If I don’t have the where-with-all to do what it takes to align myself on a particular day, I can feel TOLERANT.

Say I don’t feel aligned at all with health, balance or life and I am able to shift things through meditation, diet, rest, change of clothes, new actions, a pill or whatever.. I have GROWN.

I love these three words my friend gave back to me in our conversation.

They feel wide and right and like very good way-showers along the relationship path; whatever/whoever one is in relationship to.


One Response to “Relationship”

  1. michele47 on May 6th, 2010

    Thank you for sharing your interesting story and interpretation of it. I found it touching, and inspiring.

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