untitled, 2003, 11″ x 11″ x 4, m/m

Tomorrow we have a lunar eclipse to look forward to.

I am peripherally interested in astrology and those guys say: “TRUST CHANGE.”

Well, I’m pretty dang tired of change these days, truth be told.

My nights and days are full of giving myself grief over undone life things like messy closets and projects and bills and phone calls and unwashed dishes and dry cleaning needing to be picked up.

Yes, there are meadows dotted with wildflowers and bunnies scattered in the midst of my days.

Sleep used to be a respite but lately, even those realms are tainted.

Oddly, I am finishing up a book proposal and the writing of it is the solace in my life at the moment.

That and a flirty-thing going on.

Sometimes I want to throw in the towel.

But I haven’t the strength to make the toss.

Pathetic but real.

This season of change we are ALL INSIDE is horrible.

And necessary.

And anger-provoking.

And patience-making.

I hate change.

And I need it.

We all need it.

Sometimes, I feel as if my body acts as a little microcosm of the out-in-the-world frustrations of collapse and rebuilding.

I am tired.

So very tired.

But we don’t have a choice.. not a one of us.

We get up and handle the stuff shoveled our way.

Make a neat pile or toss it in a messy heap.

The key seems to be action.

No matter how large or small.

It acts like a ballot put in the voting box of LIFE, I think.

So, today, with this small act of writing my truth, I cast my vote for life.

God, give me the strength to keep moving through my day and participating at a healthy and vibrant level.

And forgive me if I can’t.


One Response to “Eclipse”

  1. gerry harty on June 25th, 2010

    Cathy…a book proposal!!! oh my god …I just want to say,,,you are a brilliant writer…I’ve been reading all of your work on this site from the beginning,,,I’ve always been a huge fan of your painting…but you absolutely shine like the sun when you write…keep on going girlfriend…gerry

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