Hectic Heart


untitled, 22″ x 30″, 1992, monoprint
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It is scarily hot here.

For too long now.

Yesterday I got caught without any liquids with me and stopped into the golden arches for an iced tea.

They were a beacon of light when I saw them there.. I was beyond thirst and heading into MS heat shutdown fast.

So, I waited in the drive thru but it was lunchtime and too many others were there with me in line.

I felt myself crossing over into ‘borderline-human’ status as the heat worked on me.

I start to hate everyone and my tolerance level hit zero.

Finally, with oversized cup in hand I pull away toward the exit.

There are cars coming and going at an alarming rate; they’ve got a mini window of time for lunch and they NEED it BAD.

And so.. mayhem ensues as each is out for themselves; getting into line FAST!

I’m waiting there at the exit to try to do just that.. EXIT this damn place and get what I need: peace and liquids in me.

BUT NNNNNNNOOOOOOO…

NO ONE WILL LET ME EXIT.

I can’t get out of there.

Panic peeks around the corner with a knife in her hand, a very ugly mask and my heartbeat runs too fast.

I call up a smidgeon of humaneness and say a prayer of pure supplication: “Dear God.. Please have someone see that I have to get out of this parking lot immediately and let me go before them. Please let civility be alive and present.”

And there it was… the miracle at McDonalds.. a white (of course) Honda with dark glazed windows paused to let me leave.

Somehow, when angels appear to help, we never seem to get to identify them so a proper thank you can pass between us.

They appear, then they’re gone on their way to help another needy human.

I pulled onto a shady street and drank down my iced tea and felt the slow return of my sanity.

I finally remembered myself and was glad.

And there was peace and a quiet and grateful heart.

comments

3 Responses to “Hectic Heart”

  1. Dorothyanne Brown on June 22nd, 2010

    Isn’t it lovely when people reach outside of self-interest? So rare, so precious. Hope you are keeping cool(er)!

  2. Muff on June 22nd, 2010

    Your story really touched me — I love hearing about these little miracles in our lives. I get tired of hearing about all the evil in the world, and it’s good to know there are decent human beings among us. Thanks for sharing. Stay cool.
    Peace,
    Muff

  3. Laura Hegfield on June 23rd, 2010

    I know these feelings so well Cathy…the frustration, anger at others (aka disappointment in our bodies that are letting us down and so then we turn that onto others- at least that’s how it is for me)…and the relentlessness of heat…feeling like a wind up doll with the key slowing down and movement with it…I’m having a day in which nobody understands my speech…heat does the weirdest things to an MS body!!!!

    Thank God for angels…they are everywhere!!!

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