Voting


detail of ceramic sculpture, 2002
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I have food issues.

My body is very sensitive to certain things and I try to avoid wheat, dairy, corn, sugar, grains, soy, alcohol and there are probably more I’ve forgotten.

I have experienced myself move into and out of malnutrition as I : 1. Try to eat in a way that supports my healing and 2. Fill up an insistent empty hole in me (both stomach-wise and the psychological kind) by polishing off a dessert or something else known to affect my weakness level.

Back and forth..

Back and forth.

I am hungry.

I feel deprived.

I ate that ganache’ and I’m unable to lift myself out of this chair.

I really have most of the information I need at this point to eat a diet that is fully supportive of my healing but watch myself falling off the wagon just like an alcoholic.

I AM HUNGRY AND I WANT THAT CHEESE!

NO! YOU MAY NOT HAVE IT!

Well, watch THIS! I’M EATING IT ANYWAY.

Does this sound like a well-balanced woman? No, it does not.

There’s a little girl in here that is hungry and she wins out sometimes and when she does, I can’t walk.

So, I talk myself into VOTING FOR MYSELF once again…

The big ‘S’ in Self.

And I try to find other ways to take care of the hungry girl in me..

The point is, I’m still trying to find ways to walk away from crackers and relish the access I get to muscular strength.

You’d think it’s a no-brainer..

But I ain’t got it down as yet..

And back I go to the voting booth.

comments

One Response to “Voting”

  1. david green on June 30th, 2010

    Hey

    Often think of you,. Remarkably, the other day, i called steven walt, now a distinguished law professor at University of Virginia. First thing on his (always short) list of his activities was reading cathy aten’s blog, I hope your publisher sees the power here. Hard to miss

    fan, pal, friend

    david

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