Will

untitled monoprint, 30″ x 22″, 1991
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I wonder how much using our will gets us into a thriving life?

As Americans, we worship the brute power of willing ourselves to tough it out or make it happen or ‘against all odds..GO!’ as in wartime or just getting an ornery kid to school.

I use an inordinate amount of energy WILLING myself toward an existence I see may be larger than my physicality can manage.

I am looking at a lot of ideas I have about participation in the world in what I might call ‘big’ ways; activities that are service oriented and feel inspiring to me.

But the more I put energy into trying to get them off the ground the more I meet up with silence from those that could help me do it.

I asked myself the other day: what if I just STOPPED using my will and segued into ALLOWANCE?

Just waited till I was moved to do?

A giant wave of peace washed over me.

I took that as a confirmation that I am somehow on the right track here.

You’d think if we took the feeding tube of WILL out of our arm we might just collapse from inertia.

But NO!

There is something sweeter behind it, I am seeing.

Something potent and purposeful and wider than the narrow band of will.

WHO ARE WE WITHOUT THAT INCESSANT SOLDIERING THROUGH LIFE THAT WE DO?

Excuse me as I take the faint trace of this trail I see at the edge of a dark wood….

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