untitled, 1995, 30″ x 40″, m/m

Yesterday, I had a much needed massage as I fell the other day.

Not hard but enough to weird my body out.

Goodness knows, I have seen my share of body workers in the life of this disease.

I am a discerning client to be sure.

In order for me to glean any benefit from a session the bodyworker, whether acupuncturist or masseuse or physical therapist or chiropractor must possess a few qualities:

1. INTEGRITY…They have handled the sexual boundary issue. I’ll know in an instant if their energy is other than on the task at hand. Healing can only happen supported by an atmosphere of integrity. I don’t have the energy to wade through other people’s ‘stuff.’

2. EXPERTISE… Probably all knowledge can be learned but in certain cases I have had the honor to work with people who ARE the knowledge, meaning they don’t seem to have to work to access it; they just embody the essence of healing. Rare birds, indeed.

3. COMPASSION… I am not sure you can be a true healer unless you have been shattered in some way yourself. I am not certain we are born with the oceanic capacity for being with another’s sorrow unless we have experienced some of it ourselves or as witness to someone we care for.

4. ABILITY TO BE A CONTAINER.. Signing up for a healing session can be full of surprises.. tears can come or limbs can tremble.. If the healer does not have the ability to provide a safe place for the healing to happen, healing CAN’T happen.

Yesterday, I was so weak that I could barely get up on the massage table.

When up there, I realized the privacy sheet was crumpled up at the end of the table under my thigh and feet.

I struggled and moaned to try and grab it to cover myself before he came back in the room.

Couldn’t do it.

Because I felt totally safe with him I had some embarrassment but no shame as he came back in the room and there I was.. butt to the wind exposed..

I told him I could not reach the sheet to cover myself and he untangled it from my feet and draped it over me.

The session we had was profound in the level of release that occurred.

The letting go that began yesterday is still happening this morning as I write.

I am so very grateful.. for him as the true healer he is and for myself for having the level of discernment and courage I do and for the GRACE that arrives when everybody has their hat on straight yet tipped a bit in homage toward the great unknown.


3 Responses to “Healing”

  1. Laura Hegfield on July 18th, 2010

    What a gift to feel completely safe. I hope you are feeling a bit better now. I know for me the heat is really knocking me out.

  2. Debbie on July 19th, 2010

    Wow! I am glad the massage and healing worked so well for you. I think your points on whats needs to be present in a healing situation are profound and true. How have you been able to find such amazing people? Which type of bodywork works best for you? I’m a little scared of accupuncture myself.

  3. Caitlin on July 19th, 2010

    Ah Cathy, I fell on Friday too! Even with the AFO/ butterflies on my leg …
    the bruises are more emotional than physical these days. Did you see the Sunday funnies/comics? There were several that spoke to me and will be added to my refrigerator collection …

    Stay well. Stay cool. Popsicles, ice cream, frozen margaritas?

    Love on up I25 coming at ya,

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