The Light, The Light

untitled, 30″ x 40″, m/m

Apologies for not posting yesterday.. technical difficulties, alas.


I am quite sure that every person out there who deals with a chronic autoimmune illness can relate at least in part to what it feels like to live in the dark.

Questions surround cause, treatment, duration, prognosis.

Even the NAME of the illness is in question (Lymes, MS, other?)

In my experience, when one lives with enough uncertainty for too long, EVERYTHING becomes fuzzy.

You can imagine that this systemic fog is possibly a precursor to madness in those who tumble off the edge.

Those miners really only had their POINT OF VIEW to keep them right.

That, and each other.

The dark can be a dastardly and numbing veil.

Too much time alone in the dark and no glasses will correct your vision.

But then, there is THE LIGHT…THE LIGHT.

The light that comes when I actually get a RESULT from some action I’ve taken on behalf of my body and her happiness.

THEN, my mind and heart reacquaint themselves with one another and skip happily off into the sunset like nothing had come before.

The fog clears.

And I have hope.

It happens in an instant.

Though it takes it’s sweet time to arrive.

It is probably like childbirth in a way though I have not had the honor.

They say that all the pain is erased from memory as soon as the birth is complete.

And so.. we step forward with hope and train ourselves not to cast a glance behind.

Because we have limited energy.

And the light is so bright.


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