Letting Go…. Again


detail of textile, pigment on wool flannel
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My favorite architect is John Pawson.

He designed a monastery that I just keep wanting to look at.

It is pretty severely minimalist by most accounts.

And yet.. I am drawn to it with a hidden velocity that won’t quit on me.

Why is this? I wonder…

During any of my days I can be found moving around my home with an incessant backstory going on.

I am ALWAYS HANKERING AFTER SPACE.

Or, rather- ‘the pause.’

My senses are overstimulated by the clutter on my desk, the pile of clothes on the floor of the closet, the plethora of too many appliances on my kitchen counters, the bathroom shelves unordered, too much stuff on my altar, computer, et all….

Remember, my little nest here is 450 sq. feet and I adore it for the location, space and light.

And yet.. I want less.

In a small space it becomes clear what and how one wants to live.

I see myself giving away art these days.

And boxing up stuff for Goodwill.

And hardly ever turning on music preferring the silence to anyone or thing holding my hand and guiding me away from the state of being I might be having at the moment.

I am just watching myself be drawn toward an economy of speech, movement, consuming, stimulation, doing, wanting.

My nervous system WANTS ROOM, though…

And that is a desire I intend to fulfill.

I will generously give myself one shelf ordered or one box set out to be gifted or one file deleted or one drawer tended to each day..

And take immense pleasure in the emptiness

And pause

And possibility for peace

Those little actions will provide me.

comments

One Response to “Letting Go…. Again”

  1. Elisa on December 30th, 2010

    how beautiful and full!!!

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