all RIGHT!

“GRID”, 4′ x 4′, 2000, m/m

Well.. I was approved for disability at last.

I’m shocked I received notice this quickly.

I’m pretty sure it is because I told the truth.

Yes, I did push it toward the hellish end.

But still..

The intake person did not have to go through her usual deep scrutiny of applicants to decipher where and when I was trying to pull the wool over her eyes.

I saw that she SAW me.

My very personal ‘A DAY IN THE LIFE OF CATHY’ pages were probably part of the equation in the quick return department.

These are all surmises, of course.

But if you really think about all the people this lady has pass through her office looking for a financial lifeline in these days of fear and trembling on the economic fronts,

And the stories concocted

And honed to an impossibly precise edge,

I can imagine the relief one might feel having someone arrive with all her paperwork ducks in a row.

She certainly used her tried and true methods for trying to catch me in a falsehood; having all my tax, bank statement etc. information on her desk and asking me to remember specifics in a rapid-fire barrage of questions so I had no time to concoct a lie.

She could see, I’m sure, that I was too weary to be anyone other than who I am.

And I am so grateful she deemed me worthy of the support I shunned for too long

Because I couldn’t wrap my arms around the fact

I am disabled.

I could actually write a book about what the journey has been like for me to get my psychic self and physical one to jive enough

To allow the girl to approach the door of the Social Security Department.

Well… I did it.

And glad of it.

Another hurdle crossed on the playing field of disability.

Makes me want to take a nap.


7 Responses to “all RIGHT!”

  1. gerry harty on January 14th, 2011

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! You deserve a nap!!!…and I love that painting…it reminds me of happiness.Have a great day and don’t forget to dance!!!

  2. gerry harty on January 14th, 2011

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! You deserve a nap…and I love that painting-it reminds me of happiness.Have a great day and don’t forget to DANCE!!!

  3. Carmen A. on January 14th, 2011

    Glad your disability benefits were approved. You’re one of the few people I know who didn’t have to endure a long, arduous process and/or enlist the help of an attorney. Having all your medical records, written with the “right” terminology, sometimes facilitates the process. You must really feel relieved.
    I’m happy for you. Take care.

  4. Peggy Nelson,MS,OT on January 14th, 2011

    Congratulatoins Kathy!

    Iburst into tears when i handed over my application…that may have helped my cause because i think they do consider the interview. I still struggle with my own acceptance of disability and the stigma….but, overall am pleases that i did it.

    Take care!

  5. Laura Hegfield on January 14th, 2011

    I’m so relieved for you Cathy, and yet I understand your hesitation to get this process going to begin with…this is where I dwell…at the “not filled out the paperwork yet” place….still need to explore why I am not moving forward with this. I admire your strength to go in and do it and be really seen…that took tremendous courage, it really did. I hope this will be a healing sort of letting go and acceptance on multiple levels for you my friend. It still boggles my mind that you were turned down in the past!

  6. Bibliotekaren on January 14th, 2011

    A bittersweet congratulations. I was just approved last month – I never met with anyone in person. While a relief to be approved, it was, well, so very real.

    I do believe your “a day in the life of Cathy” was helpful. I did a one page bulleted summary of issues focusing on functional aspects.

    Glad you did this from your sincere place rather than the bag lady routine.


  7. Carol S. on January 15th, 2011

    Smart lady, well done and so deserved. I’m happy for you. Write the book, I’d definitely buy it. You’ve got an interesting voice and writing style, not to mention the artwork you feature each day is amazing. For those of us just tuning in…I’m interested in your past and did you photograph all your artwork and how many pieces did you create? I don’t know any artists, so could be a dumb question. I haven’t seen an unappealing picture or art on your site yet.

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