monoprint, 30″ x 22″, 1993

I grew up in Michigan.

Summers were spent in a cottage on a lake up north (bordering the upper peninsula).

This morning, here in Santa Fe it is bitter cold and grey.

“The land of enchantment’ as we are called, is not really that enchanting today.

I love the desert so very much and seldom feel myself hankering after a more humid climate.

It is the space.
And clarity of the air and sky

That continue to soothe my soul.

Except this morning I am hungry for dirt.

The kind of earth I had as my best friend summers in Michigan long ago.

Earth so fragrant one almost didn’t dare to take as big a breath as you were able,

Not to appear greedy.

Imagining tightly green and curled things gestating just below the surface

Tended to by worms aerating the dark soil.

It just floors me..

This thing happens each year:

When my body is seared by the bitter winds,

Exhausted from negotiating ice

And my perpetual cold toes,

A new and impossibly green thing

Makes it’s choice to appear.

Against all odds

We are graced with THE RETURN

Of that trembling, half-blind fern frond.

I feel like that..

On good days.

On good days, I have it in me to begin again as I wake.

Take the time I need to wriggle around and challenge my blood to move toward the numb limbs it has abandoned during the night.

And I try to stand up,

Adjusting my eyes to the half-light.

Taking as much time as I need to acclimate to the world once again.

I love this life.

And it is hard.

And yet.. I keep doing it.

Keep rising each morning reaching for the light.

Trusting that somehow I will find the fuel I need to wind my way higher

And lift myself from the ground.

And onward I go…

With a prayer of gratitude for what it takes to keep stepping.


5 Responses to “Hidden”

  1. Laura Hegfield on January 25th, 2011

    love you…love your love for life…my love for life…you are a blessing Cathy.

  2. gerry harty on January 25th, 2011

    Your best yet Cathy…God bless you!!!

  3. Barry on January 25th, 2011

    proof that life can be rich in spite of MS!

  4. Carol S. on January 26th, 2011

    So sweet, the new growth from spring. So nights are the winters and morning are the springs, huh? I can see you just like that little green curling shoot. Your imagery is great. I just scraped 3 inch thick layer of ice and slush off our long driveway yesterday…oh how I prefer gardening and turning soil! But am grateful for all we are given. Have a good day.

  5. Peter on January 26th, 2011

    Aren’t you blessed to have SO many loving friends caring about you
    and motivated by your spiritual self.

    There was an pagan saint in antiquity (Roman..Greek) who said
    one’s life unexplored was meaningless. Or words to that effect!
    Mostly, we are way too busy with our material lives today give give our soul much of a chance to bloom.


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