Vulnerability and Beauty

untitled, 2002, 5″ x 1″, ceramic

I talk a good deal about vulnerability here..

It really is more than a “take lemons and make…” kind of thing.

I am an artist by trade.

The territory I swim in must provide me with three things:

1. Beauty

2. Curiosity

3. Connection

Now.. the beauty-thing. MS and beauty. How does that work?

Each time I find myself leaving one of my masks at the doorway, I look in the mirror and see a more translucent ‘me.’

I speak literally, here.

As I tell the truth, I gain in beauty.

Or at least something that I find beautiful.

Then there’s the curiosity part..

In any kind of shattering which might befall us there is always the option of crawling under the covers and never coming out.

It is certainly a choice and a valid one at that.

I just find it uninteresting.

So, I chose differently.

The connection part really still surprises me.

I really thought all my years as a fine artist making things and taking them to the gallery where someone would buy them and I’d get a check was connective.

Perhaps for some.

Not for me.

I am oddly less alone now than I was all those years doing art.

I find connecting with people,etc.. MUCH easier from this fluid state of authenticity which includes LOTS OF VULNERABILITY.

It is what it is..

And I try to be contained about my life and not ‘slime’ others with my woes.

But I try to tell the truth about what’s there only if it feels safe to do so.

Otherwise we have a ‘chat’ which is also good.

I recently listened to this talk by Brene’ Brown in which she laughs and cries and takes us through some funny and fascinating territory she’s discovered as a researcher/storyteller about the subject of vulnerability.

It is really enlightening and modern in it’s delivery on the subject, I think.

We hear the word; ‘vulnerability’ and immediately start backing up to get away from it.

Amazing the things we can learn by turning down a path we’ve never taken.

I got shoved onto this chronically ill road against my will

But the territory is interesting

Because I make it so.


3 Responses to “Vulnerability and Beauty”

  1. Karin on January 5th, 2011

    Hi Cathy, I was led here by our mutual friend Laura Hegfield, which I am grateful for. Your words resonate quite deeply with me. Your vulnerability, authenticity, words of truth are connective, and speak a universal language that touches to the heart of healing. (No woe sliming here – I had to smile at that!!)
    So very glad to meet you, and I wish you a most peaceful, balanced, connected, and laughter filled, healing new year!

  2. Carol S. on January 6th, 2011

    Three basic needs, smart. If all of this featured art is yours, wow. The art is BEAUTIFUL for certain, and your photography of it is amazing (your photography or someone else?)

  3. Laura Hegfield on January 7th, 2011

    I just back tracked and read this post…after I wrote a post for next week based on this same Brene Brown TED talk…that I saw up on my friend Donna’s fb page…hmmm….and of course it totally linked in to the post from today on my blog that was inspired by you about tolerate and embrace….I love the spiraling nature of the universe!

    “Each time I find myself leaving one of my masks at the doorway, I look in the mirror and see a more translucent ‘me.'” Love this Cathy…I know exactly what you mean.

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