Taboo… Boo Hoo

detail of sculpture, ceramic, earth, gold thread, bone

You may have noticed that I am choosing not to post each and every day as I have in the past year and a half.

It feels better right now to give myself a bit of a break from any sense of ‘have to’.

New Mexico has been called the ‘land of manana (tomorrow)’ by more than a few.

We have that reputation because construction workers show up

A full week after they were supposed to

With just a slight shrug as an explanation

And mail has been known to be delivered a decade past the postmark.

What has my attention these days is something called FIVE WISHES.

It is a template for making out a living will.

I am going to talk about this for a few reasons.

#1. Nobody does.

#2. Everybody I’ve spoken to about this in the past weeks is hungry for the information
and the opportunity for a little air-time on the subject.

#3. The weirdest thing is happening.. I am finding the process FUN.

#4. It is deepening the relationships I have when I open up the subject.

#5. EVERYBODY seems to heave a sigh of relief.

#6. The energy I was using up to NOT think about these things is freed up for other stuff.

OK… before we go any further- I am NOT even close to any notion of throwing in the towel.

Living with chronic illness and especially a progressively debilitating kind

Really comes with the raven sitting on one’s shoulder

Reminding us moment by moment to feel life deeply

Because the one constant we share is change.

I happen to love life.

Not always, but my nature is to be more entertained by beauty

Than other choices I might have.

Because of that predilection to want a beautiful life

I can not turn away from Death.

So, I am finding this template of FIVE WISHES

A very do-able and interesting project

Toward sussing out

A beautiful life.

As an example: a very good friend

Has spectacular style

And she knows me better than most.

I asked her at our regular Sunday evening dinner if she would do the flowers for my memorial should I pass through the pearly gates before she gets there.

I told her what I wanted and she said yes and it was a fun and sort of funny conversation.

I feel good having had it.

It prevents the possibility of too many carnations getting near me (which I hate).

Anyway.. the conversation opened up a newer level of intimacy to be sure.

Dying before you die..

Some wise person said that.

It helps one live, I’m finding.


5 Responses to “Taboo… Boo Hoo”

  1. Elisa on March 3rd, 2011

    YOU are AWESOME!

  2. Jennifer on March 3rd, 2011

    Yes, you ARE awesome. I know so many people who absolutely refuse to grapple with these issues, seeming to think that if they are in denial nothing bad will happen to them. Where did all your courage come from? You’ve always had it, Great title for your post, too!

  3. Bibliotekaren on March 3rd, 2011

    A really important topic Cathy.

    I was drafting my advanced healthcare directive (living will) a couple weeks prior to brain surgery. Really poor timing — sending the universe, or at least me, mixed messages for sure. Drove home the fact that it would have been nice to have had this prepared prior to such a time! And, as a prior hospice volunteer, I knew better.

    One other thing. Everyone thinks they know what they want. However, a really good directive will ask tough questions. It’s really not black and white. Good stuff to think about and talk about with those important.

    LOL on the carnations!

    Take care,

  4. Laura Hegfield on March 7th, 2011

    “Dying before you die..

    Some wise person said that.

    It helps one live, I’m finding.”

    Makes sense to me too. I will check out your link. It is a topic that gets thrown in my face so often whenever I receive some medical treatment or another…and something my husband and I keep saying…yeah we have to do that…but we haven’t…not out of fear…but because in between the reminders, we actually forget…life is so full. Maybe it is time to sit down and just do it. I like the notion of it being fun…like an act of creativity…making choices before I have none left to make.

  5. Laura Hegfield on March 7th, 2011

    Ha! go figure…NH, the “Live free or die” state is not on the list!!!

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