Healing THROUGH MS ???


“WOMAN BECOMING”, 2000, 5′ x 3′, m/m
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Why did I title this blog: “HEALING THROUGH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS” ?

I began writing posts two years ago.

I wanted to create a forum which approached illness from the perspective of a journey

Complete with the grit and with emphasis on the GRACE part of the ride.

It is selfish, really..

I want an interesting life

And so…

MS interests me.

I use it as my spiritual path.

“HEALING”, for me, is the absence of desiring ‘other’.

To get there means being in partnership with this ‘thing’:

Not loving it but not hating it, either.

The more I need (read: need not want) it to be gone

The less energy I have to live.

In the process of attempting to look MS in the face

Without tightening my jaw in defense,

I am becoming more.

I judge less (self and other).

I am grateful more often.

I am less desirous of ‘stuff’.

I am quicker to forgive.

I love deeper.

I am present to my sorrow more.

It excites me.

And feels lonely, sometimes.

I am weak.

And I am strong.

Actually, MS has given me the ultimate ticket

Into the possibility

Of a life informed by Spirit

As opposed to The Culture.

I feel the chasm growing.

Between Me and The Cathy I Thought I Was.

This one is far more appealing.

To me, at least.

And, finally…

That right there is the gold.

comments

4 Responses to “Healing THROUGH MS ???”

  1. Laura Hegfield on May 24th, 2011

    In the process of attempting to look MS in the face

    Without tightening my jaw in defense,

    I am becoming more.

    It has absolutely been an invitation to stumble along a rich and uncharted spiritual path for me too Cathy, I know just what you mean…well my interpretation of what you mean. It is true, the less we grip onto what “was” the more focused we are on what “is”…and what will be, though perhaps a little frightening, is also a great mystery…when we get “there” it will simply be what “is” as well…recognizing that relieves the fear. All we have is this moment, this breath, just this.

  2. Peggy Nelson,MS,OT on May 26th, 2011

    Cathy,

    Once again, your words express so beautifully my truth. I so appreciate your gift of soul expression using words and artistic media.

    In gratitude,

    Peggy

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