Attention is Our Currency


“GRID”, 1992, 5′ x 5′, m/m
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I had a massage the other day.

He worked on my right side, primarily.

My leg below my calf has become quite numb.

The masseuse I work with has very shiny and clean energy

So I have the gift of not having to shield myself from his ‘stuff’

And just deal with mine.

We worked the full hour on attempting to wake up my leg.

He asked me to send particular kinds of breath there.

My breath shifted from the shallows

To deep and long and wide.

My whole being felt smooth and supported.

A strange loneliness left me.

After the massage I asked him:

“Can you tell me anything that I could be doing on my own
Until I see you next?”

“When we began, your leg was pretty much empty and dark inside. After we worked together, it now registers as ‘dim’.

It scared me when he said that.

WHERE IS THE LIFE IN MY LEG?

And yet.. I participated in just a short hour’s worth of work

And felt the shift

Of light / life / love come in.

It was not a pill.

Nor was it a panacea.

We PAY attention,

Which has always been in our bank account.

Endless supplies, it seems.

We get what we pay for.

I am quite sure that my eagerness to wake up most mornings

And the blessing of an attitude of curiosity

And general gratitude

Even though I could call my life ‘tough’,

Is the threshold to HEALING;

Whatever that ‘looks’ like.

My attention is directed toward a lightness of being

Rather than the dark emptiness I sensed in my leg.

I can tell you in all honesty

That if I hung out for long enough

In that dark place

I would die.

I don’t have the luxury of messing around with other forms of currency.

Attention is ‘IT’ for me now.

I either refine my abilities in this arena

Or I will lie down

And not get up.

You see: it is all a choice.

I CHOOSE LIFE.

I CHOOSE LIFE.

I CHOOSE LIFE.

comments

2 Responses to “Attention is Our Currency”

  1. Nicole on August 17th, 2011

    Maybe I’ll go get a massage tomorrow.

  2. Nicole on August 17th, 2011

    Maybe I’ll go get a massage tomorrow. 🙂
    Nicole

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