The Smallest Thing


“TREE OF LIFE”, 1999, 30″ x 18″ x 3″, ceramic
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The other day, I was just BEING

As I tend to do

Because my physicality

Prohibits any fussing around

With pretense

Or trying to be cool.

I has been HOT here this summer.

Recently, I accepted an invitation to lunch from two neighbors who have interested me for awhile.

I drove there and come to find the way to the house is all gravel and there are stairs too

And I am already wilting from the heat.

I use this ‘adventure’ to practice educating people how to be with me

As I know there is always a conundrum as to whether to assist; ‘Will she take offense?’ “Does she want to do it herself?’

The thing is that in new situations I have to figure out on the spot what I need.

That day, I needed a strong arm, bent at the elbow

Offered to me to help pull me up the steps.

I needed to sit down once as my hosts took pleasure in telling me stories of their fruit trees and wisteria (spectacular!)

I almost let myself slip into embarrassment at the awkwardness

Of my apparent physical frailty.

But I didn’t.

I did not go there because I felt safe enough to just BE with these two people.

That, right there, told me a good deal about them.

I settled into a soft chair under an umbrella and the three of us shared a gorgeous and lovingly prepared meal.

I didn’t even have to act like ‘a weird food person’ with all my dietary restrictions

As the table was filled with pure and healthy sumptuousness.

I felt so happy,

Easy in my body and grateful for the inspiring and charged conversation.

I was smiling.

Which I tend to do quite often.

It is a small thing.

In my past, I used smiling as a cover;

Shadowy corners of my being needed tending.

And I had not given them their due.

These days, my smile is genuine.

It has a clear and present energy to it.

There are many, many variations of the thing.

I use it to make sure people know I have ‘seen’ them

And their very beingness has made a difference to me.

I use it to let people know they matter.

I do it because it feels so good.

I have voluntary and involuntary ones..

It seems a very small thing

And yet, I see it’s reach is farther than I realize.. Read here:

Be sure to check out the Charlie Chaplin video at the end.

comments

One Response to “The Smallest Thing”

  1. Laura Hegfield on September 2nd, 2011

    a small but powerful thing…so glad you felt ease, present and joyful my friend.

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