Divorce


“SEED”, 1995, 40″ x 40″, m/m
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I said a prayer.

It went like this:

Dear God,

“Please send me someone who has all the qualities I need to help me get back into my physical body and curtail this muscular/psychic atrophy visiting me at such an alarming rate. If You could please find someone I would actually listen to without thinking I know it all, that would be great. Also- if You could get right on it that would be good because time is scratching at my door.”

And so….

Only a few months later I am attending a Yoga/Qigong class filled w/ other folks like myself who would not be able to attend a regular class due to various constraints.

Into my life comes Daniel Villasenor; our teacher.

He has a history of extremely debilitating illness himself

And found his way forward to become a man in service to Life.

He stand there; moves with almost unbearable grace and measure.

He holds the knowledge of how to get from ‘here’ to ‘there’

And I need him.

I listen carefully because he has nothing to prove;

Only the impetus to show and tell us (pilgrims)

About the ART OF BEING ILL

And how to clean our brushes

And begin a new canvas

With colors that have no name.

He pushes me in class.

Because I respect him,

I let him.

Parts of my body

And mind

And heart

Are rubbing the sleep from their eyes

And waking up.

These are facets of me I only vaguely recall

As it became too dangerous to hanker after what was.

So I took it upon myself to execute the divorce papers.

I separated myself from certain kinds of hope and possibility

And settled for tidbits and crumbs of who I was.

I walked out of the lawyer’s (my pesky mind) office

With all the strain of remaining upright

Dragging my right leg behind me.

Having the structure of this class

And the true and present support of my fellow students

Is a weekly infusion of hope

And it feels like church to me.

We each enter the room and spread our mat which is our pew.

LIFE is what we bow to, there;

In all Her strength and frailty,

Tattered costumes, all.

comments

2 Responses to “Divorce”

  1. gerry harty on November 14th, 2011

    It looks like your in a great space right now and Daniel is easy on the eyes!!! Ask and you shall receive…it never ceases to amaze me how true this is! Best of luck with this Cathy….Sincerely,Gerry

  2. Kayla on November 14th, 2011

    As always, I ADORE your language. I’m so happy that you found what sounds to be a wonderful class and teacher.

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