Disability Perks

hand-painted wool flannel, 1987


In my new and astoundingly satisfying home I have a chair.

A white egg chair to be exact.

It has always been my safe haven in a storm; safe as the downy underwing of a swan.

Post-relocation discombobulation recedes far into the shadows as I wake and ease into it’s fold.

I sit there as dawn dresses herself and I enjoy her costuming while entirely forgetting about my untended hair and other ablutions.

I sit there.

And I sit there some more.

I do things like look.

I look at the masterfully crafted rock wall.

I look at the satisfying placement of needles on the juniper tree outside my big picture window.

My dog is snoring at my side and she is impossibly yielded into sleep with a slight press into my thigh.

I want to get up and address my coffee hankering.

But I can’t.

I’m too tired and content.

And so I feel the want of it

And let it go

In favor of more sitting.

And my breath drops into my belly

With a sigh

For the wisdom that arrives so unexpectedly with weariness.

Disability is the doctorate course

In authentic reordering of values.

What used to be accolades and cash and luxurious filling in of each and every empty place

In the heart and home and mind

Has shifted to the love of the ordinary,

Gratitude for having the means to provide for my true needs,

And moving toward emptiness for the pure pleasure of it.

That was a big sentence

But it wanted to be written that way.

The perks of disability seem to begin

When we fall in love with vulnerability;

It’s porous and yielding quality

With the benefit of the age-defying qualities

Of true humility.

Get shattered- hurt bad…

Get humble- start living.


4 Responses to “Disability Perks”

  1. gerry harty on December 3rd, 2011

    welcome back cathy…this is the writing of a genius!!!…the best yet!!!…gerry

  2. Barry on December 3rd, 2011

    Glad you’re in your new place. Glad you’re back here.

  3. Carmen Ambrosio on December 9th, 2011

    Hi and thanks, Cathy. Today I came to your web page in search of the soothing lilt of your very candid verse. Thank you–especially for #2 THAT VERY WISDOM.

  4. Laura Hegfield on December 11th, 2011

    “The perks of disability seem to begin

    When we fall in love with vulnerability;”

    yes, yes, yes!

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