Gifts I Give And Am Given


textile design on wool flannel
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This year found me having to re-think my gift giving over the holidays. I hadn’t the cash to go gallivanting across town hither and thither in search of the perfect THING for those I love.

I settled on writing a letter to a few friends, family, services I use and places I go regularly telling them they make a difference in my life; a BIG difference.

I told them my life is so much better because of them, that I recognize and celebrate their goodness and wanted them to know I am over here feeling rich because of their presence in my life.

The self worth issues which haunt me came from a never-ending question in my very being: ‘Do you see me?’ ‘Do I matter to you?’ ‘Are you glad I am here with you in your life?’

Because I essentially had to create my own foundation for lack of what seems a child’s birthright, I now know what it takes to feel whole and securely connected from the heart.

This has been a year of miracles for me. My amazing family and friends have stepped into my life with a kind of support and love which is quite overwhelming in it’s commitment to my well-being.

They are making sacrifices in their own lives to benefit mine. I hate it that I need their help. I feel too transparent and adrift in the ‘life-muscles’ department.

And yet- they SEE ME here…

Making my way the best I can with mistakes and confusion and successes; all of what it takes to create a new life when circumstance befalls us..

They are giving me love.

And that has been my gift to others this year as well.

I leave you on this Christmas eve with this:

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2 Responses to “Gifts I Give And Am Given”

  1. gerry harty on December 24th, 2011

    Thank you Cathy that was beautiful…wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with hope and so much love…Gerry,xoxo

  2. linda burke on December 28th, 2011

    Cathy,
    What a wonderful blog! Thanks for sharing your beautiful work and journey with us. I am a co-traveller who is working through the challenge and opportunities of an MS diagnosis since 2005. Please check out my blog (there are lots of us out there!) at http://www.divaonadetour.wordpress.com. I would love to read your feedback! Have you read Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser? It was a wonderful book that gave me a helpful way to interpret my experience of dealing with chronic illness in my life. Much love to you, and Happy New Year!

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