Moving


“CATERPILLAR” 2004, 14 x 3″, ceramic
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An interesting blip has raised it’s head.

I must find a new place to live.

I gave myself a few hours to collapse in a puddle of victim-soup

And then I raised my head, dripping with OMG’s and why me?

I washed my face and put on fresh lipstick and took the dog for a walk.

When I spoke of boredom in the last post I was speaking of just this:

Being at the effect of ANY situation is a gargantuan bore to me.

Even this prospective domicile shift has me now turning it into an adventure which is far more satisfying. Even exciting.

My body can not even approach thinking about the mechanics of a physical move and in the interest of not exacerbating MS I have to know all the help I need to make this eventual change happen will be there for me.

The specifics of this are rife with opportunity to blame, make wrong, hang out in anger and do what we all tend to do when life just doesn’t go our way and we are tossed out of the comfort zone we cherish.

My life thus far has not been so much about comfort. In some ways yes.. I live in the United States and have been privy to the best of the best.

For now- I am being asked to see that comfort is here for a time and then it is not and then it is again.

The thing that seems to matter most at the moment is to be able and GAME to CREATE MY OWN COMFORT ZONE which has always depended on finding life interesting at the very least as well as looking for the gold dust inherent in any situation; THE BIG MYSTERY in seeing beyond the black hole has saved me more than once.

I want my life to be like an IMAX theater!

Switching back and forth between observer and participant and back again;

‘I am petting my dog… There I am petting Olivia’ or this: ‘Stretching out my leg like this feel incredibly great… ‘That stretch seemed to lengthen my leg.’

Small things like these.. not meant for the marquee.

And so.. you can today picture me paying my few dollars at the ticket office of the theater, still wet from my recent swim in the murky waters of “OH! woe is me!” and curling into the intimate wrap of the chair watching “CATHY’S LIFE” big as life in surround sound with a slight but easy smile on my relaxed and open but slightly tattered face.

A link to Reality check:

comments

One Response to “Moving”

  1. Muff on September 8th, 2012

    I’m so sorry, Cathy. I’m sure your friends will rally around you and help, but it has to be difficult even considering the move itself! I wish I lived closer (I’m in NJ!) I’m not strong enough to move you, but my shoulders are sturdy. Feel free to rant and vent on your blog!
    Peace,
    Muff

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