Hierarchy of Hardware


My first physical support was a walker.

I began using it when I couldn’t ‘pass’ anymore as fully-abled.

It only became ok for me to weave this thing into my life when someone asked: “Cathy, do you deserve support?”

Before that it was all ego and vanity and denial. Still is at times.

Following the walker came an elevated toilet seat, leg brace to the knee, knee brace, then full leg brace.

Somewhere in there my first power wheelchair was miraculously gifted to me.

Another miracle was my ODYSSEY minivan complete with wheelchair lift.

Each increment of hardware acquisition has brought little deaths to who I was and demanded I do what it takes to recalibrate to the present and move forward from there.

The most recent hardware addition is the best one of all..

It is a tilt recline-lift chair which is like a LAZY BOY but has the function of lifting me out of the chair to standing. (not pictured above)

This gift came once again from my amazing sister and brother-in law.

She courageously broached the idea when she knew I was in search of furniture for my new place and wrote asking if this idea was at all appealing. Her sensitivity in presenting this new idea was something I will always remember.

I NEVER would have thought of this myself as I had a whole story going on about those chairs looking like a sick, old persons’ kind of thing.

But some are great looking (read:passable) and I HAVE ONE!

She researched and found it for me.

And you should be very, very jealous

Because it truly is a fine thing.

I recline and sink into this great combination of puffiness and structure.

It has this odd effect on me akin to what ultimate safety feels like.

I drop in and really rest… really r…e…s….t…

Funny what the right kind of support does to ones’ psyche.

Lovely Acknowledgement

“TREE OF LIFE” ceramic 24 x 18″

My blog was voted one of the best MS BLOGS OF 2013

I am honored to be in the company of my fellow awardees as I know what it takes to keep showing up here in a conscious, informative, courageous and sometimes fun way.

In the more than 2 years I have been writing I continue take pleasure in this process which often feels little different than all those years of creating art in form.

For this- and your continued support I am truly thankful.

ps– for the FUN part: got this from another winning blog: Mick Jagger and Lady Gaga in shoes I can no longer wear singing GIMME SHELTER.

A Civil Wind

“SOFT WIND” 5′ x 40″ m/m

After moving 6 times in the last 6 months I can now report I am firmly planted in my forever home.

I put myself on the waiting list here, in this fabulous affordable housing, green-built, downtown Santa Fe complex two years ago


Surrounded by boxes still

But slipping nicely into the idea of staying put.

Sometimes, even I can not believe what I can do when push comes to shove.

As I was moving in here 8 people came over to say a hearty welcome, bearing gifts and good will.

This literally silenced me as where I was coming from had only 2 folks even squeeking out an acknowledgement of my existence in the little time I was there.

Had I stayed there I could (and would) have bided my time and inched my way into the cultural chasm we shared as neighbors.

But the challenges I now face leave me scant energy for just the basics and good neighborliness would have felt like a luxury.

This is sobering as it all used to be so do-able.

But these days I value civility, proximity, simplicity, access, support, ease, beauty, family, friends and old-time friendliness.

There is so little separation between us all anyway.

But often we don’t really get that until we really need one another.

I mean REALLY need each other.

I think, as a whole, we’re not quite there yet.

Excuse me while I lie down and enjoy the cross breeze while looking at the aspen tree shiver in my sweet enclosed yard.