Choice

harmony
ceramic, 14×3″
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My amazingly supportive sister and a very good friend gave me the gift of choice for Christmas.

Inside a tiny box wrapped with a perfect red bow was a gift card from AMAZON.

My sister said in the card she was giving me the “gift of choice.”

I had not realized that choice about so many things falls away with the onset of illness, disability or any kind of ’emergency’ living..

For me- the choices to move the way I desire, eat what I want, dress in the clothes I’d choose with buttons or zippers, work out hard in a yoga class, drink wine, get bodywork, spend longer than an hour with friends, give dinner parties, travel, buy things that lift my spirit and keep me healthy (flowers, candles, nice clothes, expensive supplements, girly potions, books and magazines, go on road trips, wear cowboy boots while driving my truck) have fallen to the wayside one by one.

Life is jammed with a good deal of “I can’t” due to financial, physical, emotional and over-taxed nervous system reasons

So CHOICE is a luxury which softens the iron gates and lets me cross the bridge into self-nurture.

Most of the world is pinned into the cage of survival with no psychic energy left over to even think about such things so make no mistake- I know my privilege.

Beauty is essential to me but not nearly as accessible as it once was.

But my deep need to live a life of beauty forces me to find it elsewhere.

Which I am very good at, thankfully.

I can find beauty anywhere. And do.

But given the gift of choice, a fine smelling face moisturizer that actually works

Feels like treasure… (this I bought with my gift card!).

These seemingly little things help me stay out of despair

And give me strength to engage with the world in service, pleasure and purpose.

Perhaps to add a bit of beauty as I am able.

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3 Responses to “Choice”

  1. MaryBeth on January 6th, 2014

    Amen, Cathy. It’s the seemingly little things that must be cherished. And thank God for sisters…they are truly amazing.

  2. laura Hegfield on January 6th, 2014

    Choice …what a grand gift that is Cathy. Enjoy your lotion, the scent, the texture, the pleasure of it smoothing across your skin.

    Bless you dear Cathy… thank you for being such a gentle teacher.

  3. nancy ungar on January 11th, 2014

    I concur. It is so hard for friends to understand that dinner and a play are too much. After all, you’re sitting down. It’s hard for my parents, in their 90s and living in Florida, to understand why I can’t visit.

    But oh the fatigue!

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