Self-deprecation vs. Aspiration

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Maya Angelou has written that she disallows the practice of belittling others in her home. She asks those who cannot speak from a positive place regarding another to leave immediately.

I might take that further and say we haven’t the time for false humility concerning our own own gifts.

I’ve noticed myself beginning to cringe at my own or others downplay of talent, wisdom, courage, instinct, leadership, specialness AND ordinary precious humanness.

Why is excess humility valued and receipt of acknowledgement for work well done often shied away from and even abhorred?

Not good manners to let praise rest with a person. Much better to deflect.

I find I do not trust those who do not know or can not stand for what they are good at.

This has been me too often.

Far, far too often.

I was such an impostor for so long that I had literally forgotten my natural self and so there was no one of substance home to accept a compliment or turn away from the dangerous projections of others.

I still work on my skills in these realms but I have a solid core now which is my compass and helps me find North when I become lost .

As I aspire to my highest Self I enjoy those around me knowing their worth and standing in it with no apology.

When I didn’t know myself well I used to ask those in my life whose opinion I trusted things like: “What do you think my best/worst qualities are? What do you sense are my gifts? What are qualities in me you admire? Are there things I do that frustrate you or cause impatience?”

I began to learn myself and that process has never let up.

Tell me what you are good at and I will share my gifts with you as well.

One thing I do well is to reflect others back to themselves so they might get a whiff of their own beauty. I am able to do this because I had a mother who couldn’t with me and I understand how crucial it is to know how we are perceived by others.

This is an innate quality and not a learned one. I used to use it unscrupulously in order to get people to like me.

Now it functions more like an elevating energetic tool; people begin to shine brighter as they remember who they really are.

It is then that the alchemy truly can begin.

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One Response to “Self-deprecation vs. Aspiration”

  1. laura Hegfield on March 8th, 2014

    I still find it easier to see the glow in others and tell them than see it in myself… but there are days, moments at least when it is oh so very clear that I too am a shining light… when I forget because it is cloaked by things that ultimately don’t matter as much as I think they do in the moment… it is good to have others around, including online to remind me.

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