Substance / Sustenance

2014-04-19 12.53.36


As my life seemingly narrows I feel the literal SUBSTANCE of life more keenly.

By this I mean the distinction between the airy, more ephemeral qualities inherent in what might be called “lite living”; facebook friends, community aquaintences, peers, fellow travelers all…

Recent re-connection with old high school and early college friends after 40 years has brought to light the reality that energetic ties once made with heart, soul recognition, and shared tribal membership cards still hold actual DENSITY I can literally feel.


How is this possible?

Is this just a wish of mine? Some dream of how I’d like it to be?


Case in point:
My dog Livvy has behavioral issues (unlike the rest of us). She is uber-protective of me and barks at any approaching neighbor or unfamiliar person. She bites if someone gets too close to me. All this has my friends walking on eggshells and me turning away from people to avoid chaos which keeps me more isolated than I am already. This behavior has escalated in the last year.

I have consulted with a couple of trainers and an animal communicator. They each gifted me their services which was a great boon as I was going insane.

The general feeling was that she was in deep pain which I knew as she would wake in the night sometimes screaming out from a knee which repeatedly dislocated.. She needed surgery which I could not afford. We were both stressed and sad.

One trainer told me I ought to think about euthanasia as it was too hard to find a new home for such a dog and the stress level was costing both of us our quality of life.

A friend stepped in and offered to pay for the surgery!

It was truly a miracle as I owe my dog so much and was unwilling to give her anything but the most loving care I could muster.

Today, she is happier and out of pain, less barky and clearly relieved. The surgery didn’t fix everything but her demeanor is far more serene
and mine is as well.

What is this kind of support worth?

I am still musing over the miraculous generosity of my friend as well as her knowing how very much easing my dog’s life would translate to easing mine.


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