Funny Man

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People in my inner circle still seem to get very worried when they read my words describing darkened times in my walk/roll-of-life.

I believe if I have any gift to share it might be said I hold the opposites as Carl Jung taught. I not only hold them as we all do but for some reason I can speak of them in an honest and vulnerable way.

These opposites I speak of are interesting to me. I can feel rage and touch it and be fully expectant on the other side will be a door labeled “FREEDOM”.

“Freedom” meaning the perk that comes from facing a thing and staring it down until it shrivels and instead of dragging a bowling ball around there is a crumpled paper attached there instead (for we never quite rid ourselves of all our monsters). They just become more manageable.

With depression things are quite different.

That door that saves us, puts stuff in perspective for us just isn’t findable.

In my own experience depression can take you down and leave you there to rot.

Quite different than sadness depression has an elephantine weight that prevents clear breathing, vision and rational thinking is nowhere to be found.

Genius seems to often be partnered up with depression. Who of us can say we’d be able to be a container for the kind of ready and high-voltage access to genius that Robin Williams anchored for us?

Maybe it wasn’t a death too early but a body just saying: “Enough. Enough. I gave and gave and can’t find the giving place anymore.”

The shelf life for genius is decidedly shorter with very good reason. It feels so good we want it to go on and on and on………… We sort of expect it to go on because Robin felt like OURS! And we want what we want.

Rest now, dear Robin. You lit up this place like a thousand roman candles and because of you we were lifted. Rest now.

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5 Responses to “Funny Man”

  1. willow1945 on August 13th, 2014

    I was sad about Robin Williams, but I hadn’t cried until I read the last two lines of your post–beautiful and moving.

  2. Jane on August 13th, 2014

    What a beautiful tribute.

  3. Judy on August 13th, 2014

    “… ready and high-voltage access to genius …”

    Yes, and that genius included being able to touch the hurt part in so many that it is no wonder the tribute abound. And yours is masterful.

  4. Johan on August 14th, 2014

    Yes Mr.. Williams rest, and thank you…

  5. Alexandra Eldridge on August 14th, 2014

    Talk about access to genius. You are a genius at telling it as it is with such brilliant depth and articulation. I felt so similar to you about his death. How could he go on at that rate. He gave so much. Blessing to you both.

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