Life As It Is

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detail of installation, ceramic
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I find myself endlessly entertaining.

One day that “green fuse” that Dylan Thomas wrote so eloquently about is nowhere to be found in my landscape.

The next day, I’m finding myself wondering things like “What are the specific things that make me come alive?”

Thoughts of friends supporting me in myriad ways, my doctor answers my email, I like what I’m wearing, it smells good outside, I have a smart and super capable caretaker, FLOWERS!, TIME!, WRITING!, MY FAVORITE CHAIR IN THE SUN!

I wake up and perform my ablutions. Checking in the mirror my eyes are clear today when yesterday they appeared veiled and grey.

I have a pocket of grief from missing my dog. Then it changes into gratitude for having had the chance to love so well and deeply.

There’s the CHANEL #5 lotion standing like a sentinel on my cabinet.

I throw some on like a samurai donning armor.

Who am I getting ready for?

Not a man. Not you all.

Every day when my energy allows I do what I can to pull myself together emotionally, spiritually, aesthetically in order to just meet my day.

I do it because I am very sure the gift is not a given.

And I love my life…again, when the energy allows.

I keep rising.

I don’t know how.

I am very sure I do not do this alone.

My heart feels impossibly soft today.

I keep re-uping into this thing called Life.

comments

One Response to “Life As It Is”

  1. Jenny on October 15th, 2014

    Cathy I love it especially the last two lines. Impossibly soft .Letting go and suddenly there is space to see life, I am a slow learner but it is happening.xx

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