Where I Come From


Growing up I spent most weekends with my grandparents who lived on a lake/pond.

It was pretty still water with just the right amount of brush and uncut trees bordering the edges.

Mornings would find me on the trail to my favorite access where I felt the privacy I needed to just BE.

In this lake were giant orange carp. (skip to 1.14 in video)

I fantasized they were unwanted goldfish flushed down the toilet and now getting their revenge by growing into huge monsters.

I loved them.

When we are kids and unfortunately this penchant seems never to leave us; that of: “I LOVE THAT! I WANT THAT!

I would stand for hours at the edge, bent down with my hands in the water. Very still….

I waited for these beautiful creatures to trust the unfamiliar presence in their liquid world.

At some point if I was very lucky a huge, orange beauty would swim between my extended hands and


At this point I am stationed on the opposite side of the lake from my grandmother’s house.

I ran hard and fast with the fish between my little hands, around the lake and back to the bathtub at my grandmother’s.

First, I filled the sink to keep my fish alive. Then, the bathtub.

I was so proud! It was time to show off my prize!

Gracious as she was, there were satisfying exclamations of my fishing prowess, the handsomeness of the fish in the tub and then a bucket was retrieved for a walk together back to the lake and the grand release with a tearful goodbye.

I still feel like that girl; moving like a solitary witness.

I go out there, recognize magic, want to take it home, get it here then see that it was never the “thing” at all…

It was me.


2 Responses to “Where I Come From”

  1. Jane on November 24th, 2014


  2. Catherine on January 2nd, 2015

    I just read this now – you have such a lovely style of writing and it touched me deeply. Thank you – it is inspiring me to start that blog I have wanted to for so long.

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