The Allure of Limitation

anger
12×12″, m/m

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With age and illness come limitations.

I notice when I am extremely direct in communication I feel the discomfort of not having had the energy to come up with the usual societal buffers

Useful in allowing another ease in receipt of what I am saying.

Not too long ago I remember having access to all the free-floating CHI I could ever need

To negotiate whatever I desired.

My stores of life energy are the currency I pay

As I live my life.

Illness and age arrive with a shaman’s bundle.

Inside is precious information revealed about how to live inside a life when the end is close enough to catch the barest scent of dissolution.

The limit to Life is a reality

When before it was just a wily trickster hidden capably in the thicket.

Feeling the power of this limit gives birth to many things.

Ones’ authentic voice can be heard perhaps for the first time.

Where I used to have olympian stores of energy in service to gracefully tailored communication

Now I have the fierce and compassionate directness of one feeling the limit of time.

I like this Me.

And she scares me a bit in the urgency and rawness of it all

But I am glad for the gift…of this new voice to learn and the palpable sense of limit.

I have never been comfortable with limits of any kind; preferring the anti-claustrophobic cure of a back door should I feel lack of air.

These days, my task is to sit with LIMIT and learn, converse, listen to her whispers and wails..

Invite her for tea and let her inform my life

Keep trying out my new voice

And revel in the breathtaking preciousness

We are.

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6 Responses to “The Allure of Limitation”

  1. laura Hegfield on June 16th, 2015

    “As I live my life.
    Illness and age arrive with a shaman’s bundle.
    Inside is precious information revealed about how to live inside a life when the end is close enough to catch the barest scent of dissolution.
    The limit to Life is a reality” Powerful truth dear Cathy.

  2. Alexandra Eldridge on June 16th, 2015

    Profound wisdom. Beautifully expressed.

  3. Barbara on June 17th, 2015

    Incredible writing…life and ageing in a nutshell.

  4. Rhonda on June 17th, 2015

    Honestly and truth… I love your writing … it always touches my heart and brings a smile to my face

  5. Barry on June 17th, 2015

    “wily trickster hidden capably in the thicket” How do you come up with that ….?
    No matter the changes, your intellect, creativity, and femininity are still quality tools. As you study fierce, pay attention to the affects of keeping emotion behind closed doors.

  6. Jenny on June 24th, 2015

    I like this Me. – me too.

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