Moving From Person To Presence

dad

These are hand-painted silk neckties I did as part of my history working in the fashion industry. 1986.

I worked in a giant, dank, dirty loft in the South End of Boston when it was hard and raw.

I went to work each day and stretched silk on a 5 yard table, mixed dye and dove in.

I have always felt myself more in the process of creating rather than the final product.

This proclivity is still the case and serves me so well as I negotiate disability territories.

If I tend toward end-product thinking: whether I will walk again, regain old stamina or ‘heal’….

The downward spiral of comparison grabs be and takes me down.

If, in fact I stay inside CURIOSITY (hmmm…my physical self is tired and I must lie down and miss the movie I planned to go to– instead of shaming myself about being not-count-on-able I will lie here in gratitude for the honeysuckle seeping in through the window. Clearly, I needed rest instead of stimulation in this moment. How great my body let me know and did not stay silent.)

My end result now IS the moment to moment adventure…not becoming something/someone.

Being still and quiet with what is.

When I look at these neckties from long ago I remember the feel of the thick dye as I painted it onto wood blocks to press into the taut white silk..

The cacophony of co-workers around me playing horrible metal music and smoking, talking fashion, makeup, photography for an upcoming fashion show

Faded to black.

Only I remained…

I don’t remember the check I got when all was said and done.

Healing means something very different than I imagined.

comments

4 Responses to “Moving From Person To Presence”

  1. Alexandra Eldridge on July 3rd, 2015

    We all have so much to learn from you. Thank-you for the teaching. xxxA

  2. Adele on July 3rd, 2015

    Those are the most beautiful neckties I’ve ever seen

  3. Barry on July 4th, 2015

    A beautiful, powerful piece! First we see the application of your artistic creative mind to creating uniquely gorgeous ties (plus life at that time), and then wonderfully applied to MS life. It resonated and supported me especially, as my design training is always my best tool in dealing with anything, literally saving my life more than once!

  4. Jann on July 6th, 2015

    This is so beautiful, I could imagine the loft, I could smell the honeysuckle. I could see you smile.

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