Fresh Life

04_WhiteSand_1
“WHITE SANDS”, ea. 12x12x6, gypsum, wood
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My prayer of late has been to experience the state of no shame.

Historical parental programming left me with the impetus to get into a mind tussle at any whiff I may have disappointed someone;

Not connecting with people I love, not showing up as a “good neighbor”, too much solitude in a world worshiping action and purpose.

Life in my body is pretty gritty these days and it is all I can do to steer myself away from the incessant downward spiral shadowing me.

To stay right demands extreme awareness directed toward reminding myself that yes, I have pain, fatigue, weakness, seared nerves along with other dignity wrenching stuff..

But I AM NOT THAT.

I keep a fresh life and always have by trying to keep on top of my losses.

If I don’t a staleness ensues.

This work takes time.

A physical body holding the aggregate of unaddressed, unmet, unrecognized disappointments colors a life dull.

Sort of the difference between pewter and old gold.

I am unsure of why my innate GPS has continually guided me toward doing what it has taken/takes to reconcile loss and disappointment

But I lead a fresh life because of it.

Fresh, meaning I have the ability if not the desire to say: “OK..BRING IT.”

Then I can let it go and room opens for other stuff.

I love my hard won patina.

comments

2 Responses to “Fresh Life”

  1. Rita Kindl Myers on September 13th, 2015

    And you wouldn’t be you without that glow…

  2. Jenny on September 15th, 2015

    I love the patina -yes like old gold , the rubbing away the tarnish. Except that it is hard and the polishing is pretty constant . Hope Emma snuggles up often.xx

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