Rise

emm

I am sitting here at my computer with my fur hat on as well as various wraps and warming agents.

The wind chill is..well..friggin’ chilly.

(we are talking outdoors FYI..)

On Sunday morning all I really want to do is revel in the fact I am single and unmoved by wild hair, saggy undereyes and ugly socks.

I love watching SUNDAY MORNING but Emma the dog/spiritual advisor seriously needs the outdoors to perform her ablutions.

She wakes. She looks at me. Keeps looking. Ears move slightly back and down for added prayer effect.

She looks and looks.

Stays just barely out of my arms reach lest I mistake the potency of her need by watering it down with the banality of petting.

Silence from her end.

I cajole..”Em..it’s too early. Can’t you come over here and let me rub your belly?”

Staring.

Unblinking.

Staring with tongue.

Stare.

“ALRIGHT ALREADY!”

(SUNDAY MORNING beginning..)

Adjustable bed goes up. Engage core. Transfer to wheelchair. Moan. Try not to vocalize. Get on with it..

Not going to bore you with the specifics but somewhere in the next 25 minutes the words: “If people only knew what my life looks like..OMFG” were spoken.

Out the door into the arctic!

Emma the street dog from L.A. goes FAST to her poop place.

While I am trying to burrow into my coat she has strayed into a gravel driveway to relieve herself.

Shit.

I must be a good neighbor and clean up after her. My wheelchair footplate acts like a shovel scooping up gravel onto my cold feet as I make my way up the drive.

I yell at God.

Pick up poop and grab Emma retreating in fifth gear towards home.

I missed what I wanted to see on television but Emma is no longer staring. She is now dancing.

FOOD! FOOD FOR ME! NOW!!!

FOOD! FOODY FOOD FOOD!!!

Sedately digesting her prescription diet for allergic dogs on my lap now

There is peace in the hood.

I just love the funky fur hat I have on in the house right now to accelerate my de-frost.

Life is insanely good.

comments

5 Responses to “Rise”

  1. Jenny on November 22nd, 2015

    This so makes me laugh and laugh! I could feel it. And Emma’s desperation to be out.and your “oh em , do we REALLY? “There is peace in the hood. And the prayer effect. Yep spiritual advisors are constantly advising to be in the now.

  2. Alexis on November 22nd, 2015

    That is beautiful and hysterical! xx

  3. Alexandra on November 22nd, 2015

    You should write novels. You are brilliant at storytelling! Xxx

  4. gerry harty on November 22nd, 2015

    Love and identify with all of this…very very funny!!!happy thanksgiving cathy xoxoxo

  5. Adele on November 23rd, 2015

    Beautiful
    You’re not quite single anymore xxxxx

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